Is there a sweeter feeling in life than handing in your resignation? It's certainly better than being fired. It's like dumping somebody as oppose to being dumped, you have 'hand' (or so I've been told). However, I've learnt from bitter experience that the time spent wallowing in the power of handing in a resignation is usually short-lived, invariably followed by the realisation that there are no 'solid' plans to find a replacement . The conversation usually goes something like this:
"So, have you received much interest from the advertisement?" (I find this question gets the answer you're after without coming across as desperate)
"What advertisement?"
"The advertisement for my job"
"We haven't placed an advertisement"
"Why?" (often unwittingly said with a shrill, totally undermining the 'I'm not desperate' facade)
"We're thinking of restructuring"
And in an instant all hand is lost. It's like dumping a girl only for her to turn around and say that's fine I've decided I prefer girls anyway. Restructuring - what does that mean? In reality restructuring probably means:
"Thank god that prick finally resigned. Do you know what he did here? I really have no idea what he was employed to do. After awhile I was just too embarrassed to ask. I don't even remember employing him. Do you remember employing him? At least we don't have to pay his salary anymore, not that it was much. Every penny counts though, and in this case I literally mean every penny. We really did pay him bugger-all."
Therefore, it was with some relief that when I handed in my resignation to my current employer the response wasn't "sorry, who are you?" In fact my boss knew exactly who I was and what's more even showed the right amount of disappointment and said all the right things like "you'll be sorely missed" and "how are we ever going to replace you” (you probably won’t). So, it was with a heavy heart and even heavier pockets, having raided the
stationary cupboard for the last time, that I cleared out my desk in preparation for the journey of a lifetime. Now when I say that I 'cleared out my desk in preparation for a journey of a lifetime' I want to make it abundantly clear that I'm not referring to the commute home from work. While it was pleasant enough, it hardly fits into the 'journey of a lifetime' category. However, I will go so far as to say it was the second best journey I'd had that day, with the commute to work hard to beat.
Anyway, this is the first installment of The Moped Diaries: A non-revolutionary, non-political and less cool journey through
2 comments:
Has he gone......you sure. Well the stationary was a small price to pay. What - he took all the toilet paper as well...thats weird but he was the primary user I suppose. So have we organised a replacement yet for the backslapper? Oh backpacker is it...whatever? Its down to the last 2 applicants is it....oh there was only 2 applicants. Who are they? A pot plant or a gerbil you say. Both worthy replacements but the increase in wages will hurt us. Yeah I suppose what we will save on sexual harrassment cases will pay for the extra wages. So the little backcracker didn't cause too much harm then. Geez it smells better in here too don't you think. Right back to work - we can't all be crackslappers tramsping around the world. Now where's all the f#$king paperclips gone.......
I remember that "de-briefing" meeting, and the list of all those things needing to be "babysat" until a replacement comes on board...... oh crap, if I'd had ANY idea how little I knew I would have chained you to a bloody chair, rather than "it'll be fine". Let's hope one of us is having fun....
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